Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011-2012

2011. My Personal Year. of. suck.

There were great times, and there were bad times. Heart wrenching things happened. Not for better or worse, they just happened.
I've been told, "Well, it's a new year, none of that stuff matters anymore." I want to ask them, "Who do you think you are?"
I know. It's rude of me.
"Sophie, you shouldn't get so caught up in it all."
"Sophia, you're so strong, you never worry."
"Sophia, why do you even let it bother you?"
"It's just one year, in the long run it doesn't matter."
These are the things I get told so often. I shove those words away because, while they are trying to comfort me, it doesn't help. I almost find it insulting. What do you mean I shouldn't get caught up in it all? It's my life, my family. These are problems that I can't ignore.
I'm not going to say I'm not strong. I know I am. But If I am so strong, why is it never put out of my head? I worry all the time. I've met you like..twice[the person who's said that that to me], so how could you know if I am worry free?
This last one, while partly true, is baloney. Yes in the long run, one year's activities won't be remembered forever. But to say that it doesn't matter? You're kidding yourself.
Every year, month, week, day, second matter of your life. Whether its' a glace at a stranger, a meal with friends, a meal by yourself, a laugh, a cry, scream or a shout, it all matters. Don't tell me that when my parent's get a divorce it doesn't matter. So far it's the biggest thing that's happened in my life.
It might hurt, but it's not something I'll ever try to forget. It's been half a year since my parents split and I've already learned so much about myself that I didn't know before. If my parent's hadn't broken up, I wouldn't be this same girl.  2011 mattered, even in the long run.

2012 is going to be a full year. Not full as in busy, but full of life. This coming year will be difficult. We'll all get angry, and we'll all be excited. We'll be sad, and joyful, friendly, and distant throughout the year.

This year I am going to make New years resolutions and a Bucket list. I'm going to find awesome music and I won't stop listening to it. It makes me happy. I'm going to write like crazy, and paint lots. I'm going to do what I like to do, and just live more. I'm 14 years old, but I'm ready to live. It doesn't matter your age. This year, I challenge you to live.

So, go out and have a marvelous New Year. And a very full year.

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